Job Application

I just sat here for two hours finishing this application for an internal promotion at my job. Everyone I know is extremely excited for me because they know this position would be the perfect fit for me (within the company). Tomorrow, when I go to work, I'm going to be asked about the application over and over and I might just have to run into the bathroom to cry.

Here's why: I put together a resume, references, and a beautiful cover letter. No, really, it was a work of art. I made a profile at our website. I talked to my manager about how great this position would be. I was so excited and nervous when I pushed the submit button...

...and got a screen of questions, mainly ones I had already answered with a resume and cover letter. Whatever, that's typical. But then it asked me if my manager had any concerns they should know about. I decided to be honest and reveal any misgivings she had had. Then, funny enough, the misgivings became truth - the final question was about my "standing" as of submitting my application. Was I going to be at a "meets standards" at my annual review? Guess what? - I'm not. That was her biggest concern. Well, actually, it was my biggest concern and she just tried to reassure me that my references, experience, and education would surely offset this particular requirement.

Except, I mean, I understand why they have this requirement. If I can't even perform my duties at the "lower" level, how am I going to fair at the "higher" level? I understand. You may be asking why I've failed at my job this year when it seems like it would be a fairly simple job (retail). Well, I'll tell you.

About two months ago I was supposed to take this test for "lower" or "middle" managers where I have to talk to some "higher" level employees and confirm I have what it takes to move into "higher" management. I jumped through a lot of hoops and got my statistics where they needed to be and talked to the first person - who passed me on to the second person. But, wait, what's that? The first person wasn't aware that, yet AGAIN, the "higher" managers had decided to change the requirements for the test so it was EVEN MORE DIFFICULT for employees to reach those standards? So I was automatically failed. I could retest when I had met all of the requirements.

Some might say it should have been easy if I had stayed on the path that got me to the first set of requirements. But, ya see, I didn't give a fuck at that point. I let myself go. I stopped trying. That led to my statistics plummetting. I mean tanking. It was kind of glorious.

Then, a fellow employee went to take this test. She was also struggling to meet the requirements, but finally got there and made it to the point where she was passed by the first person and passed by the second person...and then she was told - surprise! - that now there was a third person. Now, she has to worry about her statistics dropping and worry about the questions (it's up to the questioner) she's going to be asked. The first thing she said to me after being told of the new...new requirement was that she thought the company was trying to force people to stop caring. And that's pretty much what most of us have decided...to stop caring at all.

You see, I wouldn't be "below standards" if they hadn't changed the requirements for our annual reviews...this year. I would be fine. It would still be up to my manager whether I got a raise and what my "standing" was for the year. But the company decided to make it all about the numbers. They've begun to change everything and it's begun to make a lot of people upset. I don't know what they're going to do when they lose a lot of good employees for arbitrary reasons.