I applied for a job. It's the perfect job for me, as far as my education, experience, and abilities. I'll get a superb raise in pay. I'll get to move to a beautiful city.
Here are the disadvantages: It's a job that never stops, all day long. I don't mean I'll work for eighteen hours a day or anything, but it's a job that will be exhausting all day, every day. I have to work with multiple departments. What one interviewer told me is the essential quality for the job is NOT what the second interviewer told me. The first interviewer made me feel confident and powerful, like I would have a voice. The second interviewer made me feel confused and frustrated, like I didn't understand that I wouldn't have any say over any part of the job. That's NOT what the first interviewer indicated.
At first I thought the job was going to utilize my creativity. I thought I was going to get to come up with discussions, suggest new ideas on how to communicate with the employees, and edit existing communications to make them clearer. The first interviewer agreed - he said I would have a mix of creating and editing. Great! I love creating and editing! Interviewer #2, however, assured me that I wouldn't really be creating as much as compiling. I belive those may have been her words, verbatim. I would compile data and communicate it to the field in a concise, organized, timely manner. So...I'm more of a secretary? Not that there's anything wrong with secretaries, but it's not the job Inteviewer #1 laid out for me.
I'm getting a creeping feeling this job may be hectic but boring. It's also going to be fast-paced, stressful, and time-consuming. But who knows? Maybe I'm just getting jitters because Interviewer #2 was a tad intimidating when she was laying out the four thousand responsibilites of this job. Maybe I'll love the chaos. Maybe I'll love being called ten times an hour. Maybe I'll love being a human database.
Here's the kicker: At the same time this job was posted, another job with the same company was posted. I ignored the second job because the description of the first fit me like a glove. The second was in a field that I've come to discover I love very, very much, but I'm not as experienced nor as educated about its specialty. The second job had an earlier deadline and I felt more confident about the first job, so I disregarded Job B and focused on Job A.
I fully regret this. Job B sounds like SO MUCH FUN. And you know what? Rereading the job description I've realized that it also fits me like a glove. It's creative, its educational, its artistic, and there's travelling. Everyone at my current job tells me I'm a natural at the specialty for this job. It's like I didn't know I would love this specialty until I got my current job, where I use this specialty. It's the one thing - the one thing - I truly love about the job I have right now. And I could have been in a job where I do that day in and day out and get to travel to boot.
So today I called Interviewer #2, who I guess would either be interviewing for the fun job as well or who could pass me on to the person who would be interviewing for it, and I told her that while I was still interested in Job A, I had actually been asked by Interviewer #1 if I was interested in Job B and why I hadn't applied for it. I told her I had missed the deadline but if she was still accepting applications I would like to be considered for either job. I don't know what she'll make of this but most of my coworkers think she'll just think I'm taking the initiative to give myself every opportunity to advance in the company. They think she'll understand that I didn't want to look back and regret not having TRIED for both jobs. They also think she'll understand that in the event she doesn't choose me for Job A, I don't want to look like I just tried for one job and then gave up as though I wouldn't enjoy any other job but that first one.
The thing is, Interviewer #1 asked me if I could choose between the two jobs, which would I choose, and not wanting to sound wishy-washy I immediately said Job A. Now I'm worried that I'll be offered both jobs. Because now, I've changed my mind. And I really, really want to say Job B. To the point it's making me sick. But everyone at my current job - even people I never thought would go to bat for me - is doing backflips to get me Job A. Can I let them down? How will I look if I change my mind? Should I be truthful if I am offered a choice between the two jobs that when I sat down and thought about which one I would ENJOY more and that I would come to work excited to do everyday, I had decided that the answer is Job B?
I have a whole weekend to make a decision. Hell, I may not have to. They may have already passed on me for Job A and so will only offer Job B, if they offer either. Or they may have already decided to offer Job A and they've filled Job B, so it doesn't matter. Anyway, I'll know soon. The wait is KILLING me, though.
August 13, 2011
August 3, 2011
Job Application
I just sat here for two hours finishing this application for an internal promotion at my job. Everyone I know is extremely excited for me because they know this position would be the perfect fit for me (within the company). Tomorrow, when I go to work, I'm going to be asked about the application over and over and I might just have to run into the bathroom to cry.
Here's why: I put together a resume, references, and a beautiful cover letter. No, really, it was a work of art. I made a profile at our website. I talked to my manager about how great this position would be. I was so excited and nervous when I pushed the submit button...
...and got a screen of questions, mainly ones I had already answered with a resume and cover letter. Whatever, that's typical. But then it asked me if my manager had any concerns they should know about. I decided to be honest and reveal any misgivings she had had. Then, funny enough, the misgivings became truth - the final question was about my "standing" as of submitting my application. Was I going to be at a "meets standards" at my annual review? Guess what? - I'm not. That was her biggest concern. Well, actually, it was my biggest concern and she just tried to reassure me that my references, experience, and education would surely offset this particular requirement.
Except, I mean, I understand why they have this requirement. If I can't even perform my duties at the "lower" level, how am I going to fair at the "higher" level? I understand. You may be asking why I've failed at my job this year when it seems like it would be a fairly simple job (retail). Well, I'll tell you.
About two months ago I was supposed to take this test for "lower" or "middle" managers where I have to talk to some "higher" level employees and confirm I have what it takes to move into "higher" management. I jumped through a lot of hoops and got my statistics where they needed to be and talked to the first person - who passed me on to the second person. But, wait, what's that? The first person wasn't aware that, yet AGAIN, the "higher" managers had decided to change the requirements for the test so it was EVEN MORE DIFFICULT for employees to reach those standards? So I was automatically failed. I could retest when I had met all of the requirements.
Some might say it should have been easy if I had stayed on the path that got me to the first set of requirements. But, ya see, I didn't give a fuck at that point. I let myself go. I stopped trying. That led to my statistics plummetting. I mean tanking. It was kind of glorious.
Then, a fellow employee went to take this test. She was also struggling to meet the requirements, but finally got there and made it to the point where she was passed by the first person and passed by the second person...and then she was told - surprise! - that now there was a third person. Now, she has to worry about her statistics dropping and worry about the questions (it's up to the questioner) she's going to be asked. The first thing she said to me after being told of the new...new requirement was that she thought the company was trying to force people to stop caring. And that's pretty much what most of us have decided...to stop caring at all.
You see, I wouldn't be "below standards" if they hadn't changed the requirements for our annual reviews...this year. I would be fine. It would still be up to my manager whether I got a raise and what my "standing" was for the year. But the company decided to make it all about the numbers. They've begun to change everything and it's begun to make a lot of people upset. I don't know what they're going to do when they lose a lot of good employees for arbitrary reasons.
Here's why: I put together a resume, references, and a beautiful cover letter. No, really, it was a work of art. I made a profile at our website. I talked to my manager about how great this position would be. I was so excited and nervous when I pushed the submit button...
...and got a screen of questions, mainly ones I had already answered with a resume and cover letter. Whatever, that's typical. But then it asked me if my manager had any concerns they should know about. I decided to be honest and reveal any misgivings she had had. Then, funny enough, the misgivings became truth - the final question was about my "standing" as of submitting my application. Was I going to be at a "meets standards" at my annual review? Guess what? - I'm not. That was her biggest concern. Well, actually, it was my biggest concern and she just tried to reassure me that my references, experience, and education would surely offset this particular requirement.
Except, I mean, I understand why they have this requirement. If I can't even perform my duties at the "lower" level, how am I going to fair at the "higher" level? I understand. You may be asking why I've failed at my job this year when it seems like it would be a fairly simple job (retail). Well, I'll tell you.
About two months ago I was supposed to take this test for "lower" or "middle" managers where I have to talk to some "higher" level employees and confirm I have what it takes to move into "higher" management. I jumped through a lot of hoops and got my statistics where they needed to be and talked to the first person - who passed me on to the second person. But, wait, what's that? The first person wasn't aware that, yet AGAIN, the "higher" managers had decided to change the requirements for the test so it was EVEN MORE DIFFICULT for employees to reach those standards? So I was automatically failed. I could retest when I had met all of the requirements.
Some might say it should have been easy if I had stayed on the path that got me to the first set of requirements. But, ya see, I didn't give a fuck at that point. I let myself go. I stopped trying. That led to my statistics plummetting. I mean tanking. It was kind of glorious.
Then, a fellow employee went to take this test. She was also struggling to meet the requirements, but finally got there and made it to the point where she was passed by the first person and passed by the second person...and then she was told - surprise! - that now there was a third person. Now, she has to worry about her statistics dropping and worry about the questions (it's up to the questioner) she's going to be asked. The first thing she said to me after being told of the new...new requirement was that she thought the company was trying to force people to stop caring. And that's pretty much what most of us have decided...to stop caring at all.
You see, I wouldn't be "below standards" if they hadn't changed the requirements for our annual reviews...this year. I would be fine. It would still be up to my manager whether I got a raise and what my "standing" was for the year. But the company decided to make it all about the numbers. They've begun to change everything and it's begun to make a lot of people upset. I don't know what they're going to do when they lose a lot of good employees for arbitrary reasons.
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