Week Ending 11/17/2013
Fear: The electrical sockets have been shorting out and sparking lately, and I live with people stupid enough to say, out loud, "If it hasn't caught fire yet, it won't."
Disgust: Several members of my family play an interesting musical instrument called the Hacking Cough Bagpipes. These are instruments grown in the pectoral area, and notes are produced by smoking, living in filth, running around outside in the snow with no shirt, and hysterical overreactions to daily events. Pitch and force are determined by size, vocal structure, and body strength. It is amazing to hear the symphony at night.
Sadness: Another year, another Christmas CD at work with no Dig that Crazy Santa Claus.
Anger: The vet. I could not get a hold of the vet for almost two weeks, and when I left a message that she didn't get for days, she told me to make sure next time to leave a message with a real person. I told her several times that I called over and over, and no one picked up, and so how was I supposed to do so? Her response was just, well, keep calling. And I was like, no, this isn't my fault. Then she told me to e-mail her, because she would definitely get that, and so I did, and she claimed she didn't see it for, like, 36 hours.
Happiness: "IT'S THE EYE OF THE TIGER / IT'S THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT / RISING UP TO THE CHALLENGE OF OUR RIVAL / AND THE LAST KNOWN SURVIVOR STALKS HIS PREY IN THE NIGHT / AND HE'S WATCHING US ALL WITH THE EYE...OF THE TIGER!" Sung as loudly as that in the car when it came on and I was able to hear the WHOLE song.
Surprise: I have outgrown skulls, horror, goth, etc. I still gravitate toward punk rock looks, but more sophisticated. I am disappointed in half of my wardrobe. I need to be more picky and yet more open-minded, because lately clothes I would have rolled my eyes at five years ago are super flattering and adorable.
Randomness: In the Zombie Apocalypse, I will be the first to go. Babies bite me whenever I pick them up, and children and even grown, random adults have told me how good I smell. I have had customers lean in to smell me, or pet me, or play with my hair. I am frequently asked what my perfume is, and when I say I'm not wearing perfume, there is a glint, a gleam, as they imagine how delicious I am.
November 18, 2013
November 12, 2013
The Short, Short Version #4
Week Ending 11/10/2013
Fear: I have made friends with a customer from my work. She gives me presents now for Christmas. Now, I have to be worried that this might be conceived of as "tipping" and that I could be reprimanded/fired over it. But, I wonder, if my friends from before I worked at this job came in and shopped, would they have to stop giving me Christmas presents because now, technically, they are customers? It's such a fine line.
Disgust: If you are a size XS/0 and a shirt fits "tight," and you tell me you wish you could put it on a fat girl so it would stretch out and fit you, I will be mentally punching you.
Sadness: My step-niece, who was still bringing her baby over for us to see, has stopped doing so. It is both my mother's fault and her mother's fault (my sister-in-law). My mother won't stop grilling her with questions about where her mother is living, and her mother doesn't think she needs any other family.
Anger: Long ago my boss forced a woman (whom I LOVED) to quit because this woman was requesting too many days off a month. She told her she couldn't have set days and that she couldn't "dictate" her own schedule. Cut to two years later, where two girls just got hired with the promise of set days and they are already requesting off here, there, everywhere.
Happiness: I finally got a letter where a customer called in to the company and gave me a compliment. Everyone else at work, even teenage girls who have only worked there for, like, a week, have gotten letters. But not me. In eight years. Even though my manager has told me before that absolutely no one receives more compliments (by word of mouth) than I do. Sometimes it's nice to get that little extra validation.
Surprise: There is a man who comes into my work to buy women's jeans. At first he told us they were for his wife, but eventually he admitted they were for him. Men's jeans don't fit him. He is...interesting. But I applaud a man who can admit what he needs and not be ashamed. Now, he comes in, chats us up, calls us Darling, but he is clearly not a homosexual. This is an important fact, because I think it is up to everyone to break down gender barriers.
Randomness: I will criticize the lyrics of your songs, singers. Make sure none of them are a stupid as "I bet you think this song is about you" or "But who cares? She walks like Rihanna!"
P.S. - There were a lot of issues with work this week!
Fear: I have made friends with a customer from my work. She gives me presents now for Christmas. Now, I have to be worried that this might be conceived of as "tipping" and that I could be reprimanded/fired over it. But, I wonder, if my friends from before I worked at this job came in and shopped, would they have to stop giving me Christmas presents because now, technically, they are customers? It's such a fine line.
Disgust: If you are a size XS/0 and a shirt fits "tight," and you tell me you wish you could put it on a fat girl so it would stretch out and fit you, I will be mentally punching you.
Sadness: My step-niece, who was still bringing her baby over for us to see, has stopped doing so. It is both my mother's fault and her mother's fault (my sister-in-law). My mother won't stop grilling her with questions about where her mother is living, and her mother doesn't think she needs any other family.
Anger: Long ago my boss forced a woman (whom I LOVED) to quit because this woman was requesting too many days off a month. She told her she couldn't have set days and that she couldn't "dictate" her own schedule. Cut to two years later, where two girls just got hired with the promise of set days and they are already requesting off here, there, everywhere.
Happiness: I finally got a letter where a customer called in to the company and gave me a compliment. Everyone else at work, even teenage girls who have only worked there for, like, a week, have gotten letters. But not me. In eight years. Even though my manager has told me before that absolutely no one receives more compliments (by word of mouth) than I do. Sometimes it's nice to get that little extra validation.
Surprise: There is a man who comes into my work to buy women's jeans. At first he told us they were for his wife, but eventually he admitted they were for him. Men's jeans don't fit him. He is...interesting. But I applaud a man who can admit what he needs and not be ashamed. Now, he comes in, chats us up, calls us Darling, but he is clearly not a homosexual. This is an important fact, because I think it is up to everyone to break down gender barriers.
Randomness: I will criticize the lyrics of your songs, singers. Make sure none of them are a stupid as "I bet you think this song is about you" or "But who cares? She walks like Rihanna!"
P.S. - There were a lot of issues with work this week!
November 4, 2013
The Short, Short Version #3
Week Ending 11/3/2013
Fear: I have a tiny chip in one of my front teeth. It is also slightly stained, so that when I look in the mirror I constantly worry it is a cavity and that, like my mother and sisters before me, I will someday be a toothless hillbilly. This week, something got caught in the chip and made it look THAT MUCH worse and I freaked out and almost started crying in the bathroom at work. Then I ran my tongue over it and it went back 'normal'.
Disgust: I don't want to see pictures of the boil on your ass, Brother.
Sadness: My father used to surprise me at work with a chicken sandwich and an orange float from Wendy's, usually on Sundays. Last Sunday, when I was kinda hungry and we were busy and I wasn't sure when I'd get to run out for lunch, I started wishing he would show up again. But...he won't. Possibly ever again. Because he's blind in one eye now and he can't drive and it's sad, the little things I never thought would come to an end.
Anger: A few years ago, my brother found a camera in the park and turned it into the police. No one claimed it and so they let my brother keep it. He found out it was worth around $2000. It was the find of a lifetime. He loved that camera. He had hundreds of pictures on it. This week, he set it down on a table in our living room and - POOF! - it was gone. Of course we can't prove who stole it, but it's obvious and frustrating and after everything he's going through right now it just broke his heart.
Happiness: We got an extra discount on ONE sweater this week and I hemmed and hawed over what sweater to buy, because I'm not much of a sweater girl. I decided to buy this long black cardigan with a long printed lapel. It is the BEST DECISION EVER. Warm, comfortable, and I feel like Janis Joplin. Now, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?
Surprise: I found out on Facebook that some friends of mine had a second child. Like, he's a year-and-a-half or something. Am I that dysfunctional? Maybe...I should look into some therapy for my extreme anti-social behavioral issues.
Randomness: I can't tell whether cars coming at me have their high beams on. I also can't tell whether they're flashing their lights at me. It is all so bright and every time they hit bumps it looks like the lights are flashing and I begin wondering what's wrong with my car and when I'm going to blow up.
Fear: I have a tiny chip in one of my front teeth. It is also slightly stained, so that when I look in the mirror I constantly worry it is a cavity and that, like my mother and sisters before me, I will someday be a toothless hillbilly. This week, something got caught in the chip and made it look THAT MUCH worse and I freaked out and almost started crying in the bathroom at work. Then I ran my tongue over it and it went back 'normal'.
Disgust: I don't want to see pictures of the boil on your ass, Brother.
Sadness: My father used to surprise me at work with a chicken sandwich and an orange float from Wendy's, usually on Sundays. Last Sunday, when I was kinda hungry and we were busy and I wasn't sure when I'd get to run out for lunch, I started wishing he would show up again. But...he won't. Possibly ever again. Because he's blind in one eye now and he can't drive and it's sad, the little things I never thought would come to an end.
Anger: A few years ago, my brother found a camera in the park and turned it into the police. No one claimed it and so they let my brother keep it. He found out it was worth around $2000. It was the find of a lifetime. He loved that camera. He had hundreds of pictures on it. This week, he set it down on a table in our living room and - POOF! - it was gone. Of course we can't prove who stole it, but it's obvious and frustrating and after everything he's going through right now it just broke his heart.
Happiness: We got an extra discount on ONE sweater this week and I hemmed and hawed over what sweater to buy, because I'm not much of a sweater girl. I decided to buy this long black cardigan with a long printed lapel. It is the BEST DECISION EVER. Warm, comfortable, and I feel like Janis Joplin. Now, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?
Surprise: I found out on Facebook that some friends of mine had a second child. Like, he's a year-and-a-half or something. Am I that dysfunctional? Maybe...I should look into some therapy for my extreme anti-social behavioral issues.
Randomness: I can't tell whether cars coming at me have their high beams on. I also can't tell whether they're flashing their lights at me. It is all so bright and every time they hit bumps it looks like the lights are flashing and I begin wondering what's wrong with my car and when I'm going to blow up.
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