Ownership

I am so upset right now.  I came home from a crappy day at work to find that my parents, because they couldn't get the internet on my little netbook for a few hours, decided that the problem was the computer needed a complete system restore.  My father - when my mother told him my sister had deleted some games that had been downloaded (without permission), had cleaned and defragmented the hard drive, and nothing had worked - told my mother that he could get the internet back for her.  So, she handed him the machine and he did a system restore. 

He lost everything I had saved on that computer.  He lost files from when I was teaching.  He lost stories I had started.  He lost pictures we had taken of my sister-in-law's mother before she died. 

The worst part?  Remember my post a few weeks back about apologizing?  He's angry at me for getting angry because HE DOES SYSTEM RESTORES ALL THE TIME on his computer and it's fine.  It's how he gets the internet back if it isn't working for a few hours.  EVERY TIME THE INTERNET IS DOWN HE DOES A COMPLETE, BACK-TO-FACTORY-SETTINGS RESTORE. 

He said the computer should have backed up the files automatically.  I said it doesn't do that.  He YELLED at me that he didn't say it did, HE SAID IT SHOULD.  Because his does.  I told him that's because he has Windows 7 and my netbook only has Windows XP.  Did he apologize?  No.  He just kept repeating that he couldn't have known my computer was different than his.  I said he shouldn't have been messing with something that didn't belong to him - especially something that cost as much as that netbook.

I would have been home a few hours later.  Why couldn't they live without the internet for a few hours?  All I needed to do was start the wireless internet service and go to the advanced settings to let Windows reconfigure the wireless signals.  I also pushed my sister for more information on whether she did a defragmentation (which would have taken hours) and she admitted she didn't, because the analysis said she didn't need to.  I said really it had needed it and I had just been planning this morning to do a defragmentation when I got home.  She just shrugged her shoulders. 

This after another day where I was the bad person for getting frustrated when my boss interrupted me at work.  Often, she starts talking to me as soon as I walk in the door.  I can't even put my purse down, or take off my jacket in cold weather.  Today she followed me to the back room and started talking at me about what we were going to do for the day, and I started a sentence and she interrupted me.  I listened to what she said, waited for her to be done talking, waited a beat, started my sentence again, and she interrupted me again.  This time I showed frustration, I think by pursing my lips, and she saw my face and asked if I was mad that she interrupted me.  Instead of answering I just, for a third time, said what I was trying to say and when I was done she just kind of said, "Oh," and walked away and wouldn't talk to me for a while.  I know she's going to say something about how I need to remember our talk about showing patience because interrupting is now a common behavior and I need to understand that I look egotistical when I "can't stand it" that someone has interrupted me.  Except I think it's awfully convenient for her that she gets to excuse her rude behavior and I'm going to be held accountable for feeling frustrated.  She has said that because she doesn't mean to interrupt me, that because she just thinks of something she wants to say and doesn't want to forget it, that that's different than interrupting someone maliciously.  It's not.  Why is her thought that needs to be expressed more important than the other person's thought that needs to be expressed?  That's how she makes me feel - like I'm less important than she is.  The whole day I made a point - a clear point - of not speaking when she was speaking, of looking her straight in the eye and nodding in the appropriate places.  I doubt she'll pick up on the message, though.

So now, when I thought I was going to get home from work a little early and get to relax a little longer, instead I've already been yelled at and I've already spent forty minutes typing this stupid post.  I'll probably end up just crawling into bed.