My sister is in the hospital with Spinal Meningitis. She is extremely weak, heavily medicated, and in a lot of pain. Wednesday she underwent surgery to reroute her intestines so her fecal matter would deposit into pouches instead of going through her colon and into her anal cavity. The reason she needed this surgery was because some time ago she broke her tailbone and bacteria from her bowels was seeping into the wound and infecting it. Eventually, the caused an infection so severe it made a sore that went all the way to her spine and that's how she contracted Spinal Meningitis.
Last Sunday and Monday, it looked very bad. My mother even thought that she could die. It was touch and go. The infection had already spread to her brain. Our local hospital wasn't sure they could treat the Meningitis. She was transported to a bigger hospital in another city. This was a touch move since bouncing around in the ambulance caused her agonizing pain. At the new hospital they plied her with antibiotics and did a thousand tests.
Then they formulated a plan to treat the Meningitis, then do this surgery she had, then continue treating the Meningitis, then figure out where to go from there to start curing the wound surrounding her tailbone.
Right now, my mother goes down almost daily to see her. The thing is, we don't really have the money to drive to the city every day. It's about a forty minute drive and we can't afford it daily. We also have to take care of her daughters, we have to go to work, etc. So sometimes, we can't go every day. I know it seems harsh, but she sleeps for most of the time we're there and is disoriented due to pain, pain medication, and the infection in her brain.
The problem with this is when I tell people that I'm going to see her, say, Monday, they ask me, "Well, aren't you going today?" When I answer with "no" they stare at me as though I'm an awful human being. The worst culprit for this is Janet, aforementioned in a previous post. I say something like, "We don't have the money to go there every day. If we went there every day we'd already have spent hundreds in gas and we just can't afford that right now." Then she just glares at me. I mean, usually someone goes every day. Either my nieces (her daughters), my mother, my sister, me, my father, my brother. But we can't all go every day.
I also try to explain that when she's having surgery, the last thing the doctors and nurses need is fifteen people in their way. I also don't really want to go with my older sister because she's an angry person and all she does is yell at the doctors and nurses for not preventing this from happening. (For the record, my sister, the one who's sick, was told about a year ago that something like this would happen if she didn't get the intestine surgery.) Well, anyway, when I say we don't ALL need to be there EVERY DAY Janet launches into a story about how when her mother was dying, she forced the nurses to let her stay with her mother past visiting hours, for as long as she wanted, and forced them to let every person in regardless of time, relationship, or how many people were already there. When I reply that I think it's better for my sister to get some rest, and, besides, we can't afford to take three cars to another city every day, Janet just rolls her eyes and says, "Whatever, honey. So you're not going today? Whatever."
You know what, FUCK YOU JANET. First of all, I've tried to tell everyone at work: we are not trying to treat this like she's dying. A) We've been through several situations like this throughout the years since my sister was paralyzed in an accident twenty-six years ago. B) We can't believe she won't get better because if we break, particularly in front of her daughters, it will just be too much. C) We don't have any evidence it won't get better. We don't have any that it won't get worse, but we're hanging on to the threads we can reach right now. D) This isn't about you, JANET. What I need right now is if I say, "I can go see her on Monday," people try to help me arrange my schedule so I can go see her on Monday.
The other worry is when I say, "We can't afford to go to the city every day," Janet might think I'm trying to manipulate her into giving me money. This has happened before. She told our manager once that because I was trying to decide on whether I had the money to buy this vest I wanted, Janet just KNEW I was actually hinting I wanted her to buy it for me. I'm sorry, but, WHAT? Then my boss wrote ME up. Because actually thinking about your budget out loud is automatically a manipulation technique. I'm sorry that Janet has infinite money and, like, ten credit cards, but I don't. I was just thinking out loud. But after that, I wasn't allowed to even try on a piece of clothing unless I knew I could buy it, because if I had to put it back and Janet found out I put it back because I couldn't afford it, I'd get written up again for manipulation. YEAH.
But what I NEED is for the people who are around me to say, "Whatever you need, let us know." And then I will. And then they will accommodate that. I can't just take every day off from work. I can't afford to work half-shifts for the next few weeks. I can't fill up the gas tank every single day. I can't succumb to the stress of both worrying about my sister and worrying about how people are judging my choices in this situation. I'm trying to handle it all and if I don't have support, the kind of support I NEED, then I'm going lose my handle on it all.
Showing posts with label my job. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my job. Show all posts
April 13, 2013
January 27, 2013
Service
Tonight I went out to dinner with most of my coworkers. Our boss takes us out to eat every year for Christmas, which we usually do in January because it's less stressful for most of us to schedule a day and gives us extra time to buy a Secret Santa gift. You know, we work in the customer service field and you would think that would make us more patient when we have service that is good but not perfect. Let me lay out the situation for you.
We went to the Olive Garden. It's a Sunday. We were a group of seven, possibly eight. We didn't have a reservation, but my boss - at the last minute - phoned ahead about a half an hour and asked if they had a wait. Of friggin' course they did, it's a Sunday in an area with several malls. The wait was an hour and twenty minutes. But, they said, if we gave them a name they would make us the first priority when we got there and as soon as a table big enough for us opened up we'd be the first people they seated.
We arrived at the restaraunt. Some of my coworkers complained about having to wait. We waited about ten minutes. On a busy Sunday evening. They let us know multiple times how long we'd be waiting, telling us the table they were going to use for us had been given their bill, then telling us the table was being cleaned off, then seating us. From the time we got there to the time we were seated was no more than about ten minutes. Meanwhile, people who arrived BEFORE us had to wait longer.
We sat. Our waiter told us about the day's wine we could sample. One of my coworkers, let's call her Janet, made a snarky comment about how she doesn't drink red wine, it's disgusting, she needs something sweeter, she only drinks Zinfadel, etc. She couldn't just say, no, thank you. The waiter tried to chat with us as he took our drink order. He asked us if we were celebrating anything. No one answered. I answered and then there were also some mumbled, "Yeah, Christmas." Then he asked how we all knew each other. Again, no one answered. Finally, our boss said we all worked retail. He took our drink orders and said he'd get those and give us time to look over the menu. Our boss said she thought we could order now, and he said, oh, okay, but Janet and another girl weren't ready so they got rude with the WAITER about needing more time.
So, let me just say, Olive Garden was packed. It was loud, there was a HUGE birthday party going on (there must have been thirty or forty people celebrating). Waiters were getting into traffic jams trying to take care of multiple tables at once. It took maybe five minutes for us to get our drinks. My boss and I ordered special drinks (everyone else just had tea or lemonade) so ours were on a list to be made at the bar - even though they were non-alcoholic they were the kind of drinks that have to be MADE and MIXED: some kind of special juice and a smoothie. Janet complained about the fact that my boss and I didn't have our drinks yet. I said, well, they're special, and the waiter did try to reassure us that they were being made as quickly as possible. While we were waiting, the waiter brought us our salad and breadsticks.
And here is where the really frustrating part begins. Two of our coworkers had asked for salad with salad dressing on the side, so the waiter told us he would bring us one salad with dressing and one with it on the side. My coworkers all agreed to this. We said, oh, great, that would be great. So he brings it, just as promised. Quickly, it is obvious it will not be quite enough for seven people, so we politely ask for an extra salad, right? No, the snarky fucking comment to the poor waiter, from Janet, is "Did you really think two salads was going to be enough?" The waiter says he'll bring another salad. He asks if we want it to have dressing on the side. We don't. When he leaves, Janet continues to complain about the amount of salad. I say, "He's getting us another one. He's fixing the problem." She says, yeah, but still, you know? And I'm like, no.
During this time, also, another waiter brought our special drinks. Janet says, "I was starting to think we'd be done with our salads before you guys got those drinks." I say, again, well, they had to be specially made. At this point, everyone can tell that I'm getting angry. It's uncomfortable. But I'm not going to just let her make those comments. The waiter is doing the best he can. Another coworker who used to work in a restaurant tries to diffuse the situation (though moments before she was snarking on the poor waiter, too) by saying that it's hard on the waiters because they can only go as fast as the kitchen/bar can go.
We get our extra salad. Our boss tries to make a joke that I get first dibbs because I let everyone else take the first salads. The truth is I didn't want any salad, really, but I took a little just to make everyone happy. I ate, maybe, two bites. As we're spooning out our new salad, our dinners come. Janet, FUCKING JANET, has to make a comment that we aren't even done eating salad. I don't know what this woman wants. I say that we can eat salads along side our meals. She says most people want to eat their salads first and then eat their meals. I say, not the people I know. She just glares at me.
We eat in mostly silence. Oh, but let me add this: during the entire meal - the ENTIRE meal - every one of my coworkers is playing on her cell phone. Except me, as I have an ancient flip phone with no texting or internet nor do I have the desire for a phone with either of those capabilities. They are texting; sometimes they are texting EACH OTHER. They decide to "friend" each other on Facebook and so there is a mini-marathon of passing phones around so each woman can type her name into everyone else's phone. Meanwhile, the waiter is trying to ask questions (like taking our orders) but is getting no answers or just annoyed looks because, you know, we're busy. I was so FUCKING embarrassed.
Let me back up. As soon as we sat down Janet wanted to know where the dessert menu was. At this time, chaos is going on because we're all getting situated, asking each other how we're doing, looking at our menus, the waiter is trying to get our drink orders, etc. Janet just keeps complaining about that dessert menu.
But now, back to the future, we've eaten and it's traditionally time for dessert. The waiter tells us about the desserts (I admit to being annoyed by no menu). He tells us the first dessert and Janet interrupts him to say, "Chocolate. We want chocolate." I tell him that I, in fact, don't want chocolate but want Tiramisu. Everyone asks what that is and so he continues on with the desserts and eventually says there is chocolate cake. CHAOS ENSUES as everyone asks him how big the cake is, how many calories, etc. What the fuck, it's a dessert! You know it has a lot of calories, deal! As he's walking away our teenager says, "Excuse me, but I want some water." He asks if she wants lemon in it and she GLARES at him and just says, "Whatever, no, um, just no." I say, he just asked if we wanted refills and you didn't speak up then. She just stares at me. He puts in our orders and brings the check.
And here, ladies and gentlemen, is where I begin to throw a fit. Because an audible bitchfest begins about how bad the service was. The drinks were too slow. There wasn't enough salad. Our food came too quickly. Janet didn't like him (he was, by the way, clearly gay and it is known she's uncomfortable with gay men - you know what, men in general). The girl who used to work in a restaurant begins detailing all the ways she would have been in trouble if she had served like he had served.
I am PISSED. I start reminding them that the restaurant is busy, they got a party of seven seated within ten minutes, they filled all of our requests, and the waiter tried to be friendly. The whole time my boss is watching my face and she can see that I'm upset and so she tries to ask if 25% is too much. Now look: YES. I feel 15% - 20% is fine for good service and I think he did the best he could with the situation he had. My coworkers, especially Janet, get loud about how they would only give 15% for really good service, and according to them, he was not good service. I reiterate that he did a fine job given the situation and that 15% would be fine.
Again, meanwhile, and I know this is long but I need to vent, the waiter is boxing up our food, writing what it was and the date on it, boxing up the extra salad, giving us bags for the breadsticks. He even wrote us a little note on the comment card that recalled every detail we had told him the few times we did actually chat with him. So, anyway, our boss gives him 20% and we leave. On our way out he taps me on the shoulder and says that Janet forgot her box, so could I make sure she gets it? I say sure and thank him for everything. When I catch up to Janet and tell her she forgot her box, she says, "I didn't want that. He didn't even ask me if I wanted that. What the hell?" So I just snatch it out of her hands and walk to the car.
Our boss paid for everything. She picked up the whole bill. I tried to call her to talk to her, but she didn't answer. I know she knows I'm upset. I know she's avoiding me. So I will have to talk to her tomorrow. I'm going to ask her if she wants me to pay her back for my meal because it will make it easier for me to tell her I'm never going out with them again. This happens every fucking time. We've gone out for a few occasions this year and this happens EVERY FUCKING TIME. And I'm finally done with it. I'm done being completely embarrassed. It isn't a mandatory dinner so maybe they'll have more fun next year when they can complain about nonsense without being interrupted. I know I'll have more fun reading a book or watching TV.
We went to the Olive Garden. It's a Sunday. We were a group of seven, possibly eight. We didn't have a reservation, but my boss - at the last minute - phoned ahead about a half an hour and asked if they had a wait. Of friggin' course they did, it's a Sunday in an area with several malls. The wait was an hour and twenty minutes. But, they said, if we gave them a name they would make us the first priority when we got there and as soon as a table big enough for us opened up we'd be the first people they seated.
We arrived at the restaraunt. Some of my coworkers complained about having to wait. We waited about ten minutes. On a busy Sunday evening. They let us know multiple times how long we'd be waiting, telling us the table they were going to use for us had been given their bill, then telling us the table was being cleaned off, then seating us. From the time we got there to the time we were seated was no more than about ten minutes. Meanwhile, people who arrived BEFORE us had to wait longer.
We sat. Our waiter told us about the day's wine we could sample. One of my coworkers, let's call her Janet, made a snarky comment about how she doesn't drink red wine, it's disgusting, she needs something sweeter, she only drinks Zinfadel, etc. She couldn't just say, no, thank you. The waiter tried to chat with us as he took our drink order. He asked us if we were celebrating anything. No one answered. I answered and then there were also some mumbled, "Yeah, Christmas." Then he asked how we all knew each other. Again, no one answered. Finally, our boss said we all worked retail. He took our drink orders and said he'd get those and give us time to look over the menu. Our boss said she thought we could order now, and he said, oh, okay, but Janet and another girl weren't ready so they got rude with the WAITER about needing more time.
So, let me just say, Olive Garden was packed. It was loud, there was a HUGE birthday party going on (there must have been thirty or forty people celebrating). Waiters were getting into traffic jams trying to take care of multiple tables at once. It took maybe five minutes for us to get our drinks. My boss and I ordered special drinks (everyone else just had tea or lemonade) so ours were on a list to be made at the bar - even though they were non-alcoholic they were the kind of drinks that have to be MADE and MIXED: some kind of special juice and a smoothie. Janet complained about the fact that my boss and I didn't have our drinks yet. I said, well, they're special, and the waiter did try to reassure us that they were being made as quickly as possible. While we were waiting, the waiter brought us our salad and breadsticks.
And here is where the really frustrating part begins. Two of our coworkers had asked for salad with salad dressing on the side, so the waiter told us he would bring us one salad with dressing and one with it on the side. My coworkers all agreed to this. We said, oh, great, that would be great. So he brings it, just as promised. Quickly, it is obvious it will not be quite enough for seven people, so we politely ask for an extra salad, right? No, the snarky fucking comment to the poor waiter, from Janet, is "Did you really think two salads was going to be enough?" The waiter says he'll bring another salad. He asks if we want it to have dressing on the side. We don't. When he leaves, Janet continues to complain about the amount of salad. I say, "He's getting us another one. He's fixing the problem." She says, yeah, but still, you know? And I'm like, no.
During this time, also, another waiter brought our special drinks. Janet says, "I was starting to think we'd be done with our salads before you guys got those drinks." I say, again, well, they had to be specially made. At this point, everyone can tell that I'm getting angry. It's uncomfortable. But I'm not going to just let her make those comments. The waiter is doing the best he can. Another coworker who used to work in a restaurant tries to diffuse the situation (though moments before she was snarking on the poor waiter, too) by saying that it's hard on the waiters because they can only go as fast as the kitchen/bar can go.
We get our extra salad. Our boss tries to make a joke that I get first dibbs because I let everyone else take the first salads. The truth is I didn't want any salad, really, but I took a little just to make everyone happy. I ate, maybe, two bites. As we're spooning out our new salad, our dinners come. Janet, FUCKING JANET, has to make a comment that we aren't even done eating salad. I don't know what this woman wants. I say that we can eat salads along side our meals. She says most people want to eat their salads first and then eat their meals. I say, not the people I know. She just glares at me.
We eat in mostly silence. Oh, but let me add this: during the entire meal - the ENTIRE meal - every one of my coworkers is playing on her cell phone. Except me, as I have an ancient flip phone with no texting or internet nor do I have the desire for a phone with either of those capabilities. They are texting; sometimes they are texting EACH OTHER. They decide to "friend" each other on Facebook and so there is a mini-marathon of passing phones around so each woman can type her name into everyone else's phone. Meanwhile, the waiter is trying to ask questions (like taking our orders) but is getting no answers or just annoyed looks because, you know, we're busy. I was so FUCKING embarrassed.
Let me back up. As soon as we sat down Janet wanted to know where the dessert menu was. At this time, chaos is going on because we're all getting situated, asking each other how we're doing, looking at our menus, the waiter is trying to get our drink orders, etc. Janet just keeps complaining about that dessert menu.
But now, back to the future, we've eaten and it's traditionally time for dessert. The waiter tells us about the desserts (I admit to being annoyed by no menu). He tells us the first dessert and Janet interrupts him to say, "Chocolate. We want chocolate." I tell him that I, in fact, don't want chocolate but want Tiramisu. Everyone asks what that is and so he continues on with the desserts and eventually says there is chocolate cake. CHAOS ENSUES as everyone asks him how big the cake is, how many calories, etc. What the fuck, it's a dessert! You know it has a lot of calories, deal! As he's walking away our teenager says, "Excuse me, but I want some water." He asks if she wants lemon in it and she GLARES at him and just says, "Whatever, no, um, just no." I say, he just asked if we wanted refills and you didn't speak up then. She just stares at me. He puts in our orders and brings the check.
And here, ladies and gentlemen, is where I begin to throw a fit. Because an audible bitchfest begins about how bad the service was. The drinks were too slow. There wasn't enough salad. Our food came too quickly. Janet didn't like him (he was, by the way, clearly gay and it is known she's uncomfortable with gay men - you know what, men in general). The girl who used to work in a restaurant begins detailing all the ways she would have been in trouble if she had served like he had served.
I am PISSED. I start reminding them that the restaurant is busy, they got a party of seven seated within ten minutes, they filled all of our requests, and the waiter tried to be friendly. The whole time my boss is watching my face and she can see that I'm upset and so she tries to ask if 25% is too much. Now look: YES. I feel 15% - 20% is fine for good service and I think he did the best he could with the situation he had. My coworkers, especially Janet, get loud about how they would only give 15% for really good service, and according to them, he was not good service. I reiterate that he did a fine job given the situation and that 15% would be fine.
Again, meanwhile, and I know this is long but I need to vent, the waiter is boxing up our food, writing what it was and the date on it, boxing up the extra salad, giving us bags for the breadsticks. He even wrote us a little note on the comment card that recalled every detail we had told him the few times we did actually chat with him. So, anyway, our boss gives him 20% and we leave. On our way out he taps me on the shoulder and says that Janet forgot her box, so could I make sure she gets it? I say sure and thank him for everything. When I catch up to Janet and tell her she forgot her box, she says, "I didn't want that. He didn't even ask me if I wanted that. What the hell?" So I just snatch it out of her hands and walk to the car.
Our boss paid for everything. She picked up the whole bill. I tried to call her to talk to her, but she didn't answer. I know she knows I'm upset. I know she's avoiding me. So I will have to talk to her tomorrow. I'm going to ask her if she wants me to pay her back for my meal because it will make it easier for me to tell her I'm never going out with them again. This happens every fucking time. We've gone out for a few occasions this year and this happens EVERY FUCKING TIME. And I'm finally done with it. I'm done being completely embarrassed. It isn't a mandatory dinner so maybe they'll have more fun next year when they can complain about nonsense without being interrupted. I know I'll have more fun reading a book or watching TV.
June 7, 2012
Ownership
I am so upset right now. I came home from a crappy day at work to find that my parents, because they couldn't get the internet on my little netbook for a few hours, decided that the problem was the computer needed a complete system restore. My father - when my mother told him my sister had deleted some games that had been downloaded (without permission), had cleaned and defragmented the hard drive, and nothing had worked - told my mother that he could get the internet back for her. So, she handed him the machine and he did a system restore.
He lost everything I had saved on that computer. He lost files from when I was teaching. He lost stories I had started. He lost pictures we had taken of my sister-in-law's mother before she died.
The worst part? Remember my post a few weeks back about apologizing? He's angry at me for getting angry because HE DOES SYSTEM RESTORES ALL THE TIME on his computer and it's fine. It's how he gets the internet back if it isn't working for a few hours. EVERY TIME THE INTERNET IS DOWN HE DOES A COMPLETE, BACK-TO-FACTORY-SETTINGS RESTORE.
He said the computer should have backed up the files automatically. I said it doesn't do that. He YELLED at me that he didn't say it did, HE SAID IT SHOULD. Because his does. I told him that's because he has Windows 7 and my netbook only has Windows XP. Did he apologize? No. He just kept repeating that he couldn't have known my computer was different than his. I said he shouldn't have been messing with something that didn't belong to him - especially something that cost as much as that netbook.
I would have been home a few hours later. Why couldn't they live without the internet for a few hours? All I needed to do was start the wireless internet service and go to the advanced settings to let Windows reconfigure the wireless signals. I also pushed my sister for more information on whether she did a defragmentation (which would have taken hours) and she admitted she didn't, because the analysis said she didn't need to. I said really it had needed it and I had just been planning this morning to do a defragmentation when I got home. She just shrugged her shoulders.
This after another day where I was the bad person for getting frustrated when my boss interrupted me at work. Often, she starts talking to me as soon as I walk in the door. I can't even put my purse down, or take off my jacket in cold weather. Today she followed me to the back room and started talking at me about what we were going to do for the day, and I started a sentence and she interrupted me. I listened to what she said, waited for her to be done talking, waited a beat, started my sentence again, and she interrupted me again. This time I showed frustration, I think by pursing my lips, and she saw my face and asked if I was mad that she interrupted me. Instead of answering I just, for a third time, said what I was trying to say and when I was done she just kind of said, "Oh," and walked away and wouldn't talk to me for a while. I know she's going to say something about how I need to remember our talk about showing patience because interrupting is now a common behavior and I need to understand that I look egotistical when I "can't stand it" that someone has interrupted me. Except I think it's awfully convenient for her that she gets to excuse her rude behavior and I'm going to be held accountable for feeling frustrated. She has said that because she doesn't mean to interrupt me, that because she just thinks of something she wants to say and doesn't want to forget it, that that's different than interrupting someone maliciously. It's not. Why is her thought that needs to be expressed more important than the other person's thought that needs to be expressed? That's how she makes me feel - like I'm less important than she is. The whole day I made a point - a clear point - of not speaking when she was speaking, of looking her straight in the eye and nodding in the appropriate places. I doubt she'll pick up on the message, though.
So now, when I thought I was going to get home from work a little early and get to relax a little longer, instead I've already been yelled at and I've already spent forty minutes typing this stupid post. I'll probably end up just crawling into bed.
He lost everything I had saved on that computer. He lost files from when I was teaching. He lost stories I had started. He lost pictures we had taken of my sister-in-law's mother before she died.
The worst part? Remember my post a few weeks back about apologizing? He's angry at me for getting angry because HE DOES SYSTEM RESTORES ALL THE TIME on his computer and it's fine. It's how he gets the internet back if it isn't working for a few hours. EVERY TIME THE INTERNET IS DOWN HE DOES A COMPLETE, BACK-TO-FACTORY-SETTINGS RESTORE.
He said the computer should have backed up the files automatically. I said it doesn't do that. He YELLED at me that he didn't say it did, HE SAID IT SHOULD. Because his does. I told him that's because he has Windows 7 and my netbook only has Windows XP. Did he apologize? No. He just kept repeating that he couldn't have known my computer was different than his. I said he shouldn't have been messing with something that didn't belong to him - especially something that cost as much as that netbook.
I would have been home a few hours later. Why couldn't they live without the internet for a few hours? All I needed to do was start the wireless internet service and go to the advanced settings to let Windows reconfigure the wireless signals. I also pushed my sister for more information on whether she did a defragmentation (which would have taken hours) and she admitted she didn't, because the analysis said she didn't need to. I said really it had needed it and I had just been planning this morning to do a defragmentation when I got home. She just shrugged her shoulders.
This after another day where I was the bad person for getting frustrated when my boss interrupted me at work. Often, she starts talking to me as soon as I walk in the door. I can't even put my purse down, or take off my jacket in cold weather. Today she followed me to the back room and started talking at me about what we were going to do for the day, and I started a sentence and she interrupted me. I listened to what she said, waited for her to be done talking, waited a beat, started my sentence again, and she interrupted me again. This time I showed frustration, I think by pursing my lips, and she saw my face and asked if I was mad that she interrupted me. Instead of answering I just, for a third time, said what I was trying to say and when I was done she just kind of said, "Oh," and walked away and wouldn't talk to me for a while. I know she's going to say something about how I need to remember our talk about showing patience because interrupting is now a common behavior and I need to understand that I look egotistical when I "can't stand it" that someone has interrupted me. Except I think it's awfully convenient for her that she gets to excuse her rude behavior and I'm going to be held accountable for feeling frustrated. She has said that because she doesn't mean to interrupt me, that because she just thinks of something she wants to say and doesn't want to forget it, that that's different than interrupting someone maliciously. It's not. Why is her thought that needs to be expressed more important than the other person's thought that needs to be expressed? That's how she makes me feel - like I'm less important than she is. The whole day I made a point - a clear point - of not speaking when she was speaking, of looking her straight in the eye and nodding in the appropriate places. I doubt she'll pick up on the message, though.
So now, when I thought I was going to get home from work a little early and get to relax a little longer, instead I've already been yelled at and I've already spent forty minutes typing this stupid post. I'll probably end up just crawling into bed.
March 18, 2012
Random Updates
I've been sick for the past four days. Just a little flu bug that knocked me out. Luckily I had the past four days off from work and was able to leave early Wednesday, the day I first felt signs of being under the weather. The bad part was my work called me both Friday and Saturday, basically trying to convince me that I should be well enough by now to fill in and they needed someone to fill in. Well, too bad, because I didn't feel well enough, I wasn't scheduled, and I can tell you no anytime I want to for any reason I want to. Today I had my first cup of coffee in three days and I'm high as a kite right now. They said I should be able to make it through since I would have been sick Wednesday and Thursday and would have recovered Friday and Saturday. Well, unfortunately illness doesn't work on a set schedule for the conveniences of retail.
This happens frequently at my work. Someone will need to call off, so all the other employees not already working get called to see whether they can fill in. If anyone says no, their reasons are grilled to the point of ridiculousness. You know, if they weren't scheduled when the schedule was posted (and initialed as complete) they don't have to give any reason whatsoever as to why they can't fill in. I've tried to tell my boss this on several occasions but she argues that part of their job descriptions is flexibility. I say, yes, but not spontaneous flexibility. The agreement is the schedule is posted two weeks prior to the dates it covers and at that point becomes a contract. We argue constantly over whether we should sign the schedule when it's posted (agreeing to work the days scheduled) or after it has transpired (agreeing it accurately depicts the hours we worked). While the handbook states the latter, I think I'm going to start practicing the former.
As stated in my previous post, I'm just an idiot when it comes to commenting on anything on the internet. I've received several replies to my statement that I didn't like the comedian, including one that just said, "god ur dumb." I let myself get roped in, wasting precious moments of my life trying to convince all of these people that I'm entitled to say I don't like him and they should just agree to disagree. Of course I'm going to get a thousand emails saying people have responded to my comment and even though I will probably ignore them, I know they're all going to just continue the insanity and I'll be tempted to see just how much hate I can possibly cause. Am I a troll?
Also while sick, I've been reading some back issues of Poets and Writers. One thing I've learned - I can't be interested in every article and should just skip the ones I'm not interested in after the first paragraph. One article I loved, though, was about book lists (with commentary from Tony Doerr!). The author of the article (not Tony Doerr!) talked about how he realized one day that he would never, ever be able to read all the books on his list and how this had depressed him greatly. Eventually, he was able to come to grips with the fact that it is impossible to read even a fraction of the books that are published in even a given year (thousands upon thousands), especially in the growing market of self-publication through e-readers. He also talked about the guilt many writers feel when they think a so-called canon masterpiece is crap. He had to convince himself it's okay to put down that masterpiece and pick up something more personal - and that whatever an individual chooses to read is just fine as long as she is reading. Tony Doerr(!) said something along those lines as well. This is a constant issue I struggle with, often not feeling these masterpieces are really all that masterful and are really more pieces of.... Anyway, the author of the article suggested making a list of the ten or so books we enjoyed reading the most every year and see if there's any theme. I liked this idea very much.
My sister is in the hospital with an infection in her spinal cord. She had a bed sore at her tailbone that became infected and spread up her entire back, and is now swollen to the size of a basketball. She will need surgery to try to remove the infection and plastic surgery to repair her back. Part of her tailbone is actually sticking through the bed sore. We don't know when the surgeries will happen or what exactly all of the surgeries will entail, so I'll keep updating.
I know all of this seems a bit random, but my mind is a bit addled right now and I was just writing as things came to me. I'm hoping I'll be able to drink some coffee tomorrow and not feel like I'm floating on a cloud. I have to pick up my new glasses tomorrow morning (with transitions lenses, thankfully) and then spend my evening at work, so I'm just hoping I won't be this loopy. I guess it will be a fun evening if I am.
P.S. I've edited this to add that it's Poets & Writers magazine. One of the articles was all about the ampersand, and how certain poetry editors think it's just so annoying and basically would pause before considering a poem just because the author used an ampersand. That's ludicrous. It's a symbol. A well known one. It means "and." Get over it.
This happens frequently at my work. Someone will need to call off, so all the other employees not already working get called to see whether they can fill in. If anyone says no, their reasons are grilled to the point of ridiculousness. You know, if they weren't scheduled when the schedule was posted (and initialed as complete) they don't have to give any reason whatsoever as to why they can't fill in. I've tried to tell my boss this on several occasions but she argues that part of their job descriptions is flexibility. I say, yes, but not spontaneous flexibility. The agreement is the schedule is posted two weeks prior to the dates it covers and at that point becomes a contract. We argue constantly over whether we should sign the schedule when it's posted (agreeing to work the days scheduled) or after it has transpired (agreeing it accurately depicts the hours we worked). While the handbook states the latter, I think I'm going to start practicing the former.
As stated in my previous post, I'm just an idiot when it comes to commenting on anything on the internet. I've received several replies to my statement that I didn't like the comedian, including one that just said, "god ur dumb." I let myself get roped in, wasting precious moments of my life trying to convince all of these people that I'm entitled to say I don't like him and they should just agree to disagree. Of course I'm going to get a thousand emails saying people have responded to my comment and even though I will probably ignore them, I know they're all going to just continue the insanity and I'll be tempted to see just how much hate I can possibly cause. Am I a troll?
Also while sick, I've been reading some back issues of Poets and Writers. One thing I've learned - I can't be interested in every article and should just skip the ones I'm not interested in after the first paragraph. One article I loved, though, was about book lists (with commentary from Tony Doerr!). The author of the article (not Tony Doerr!) talked about how he realized one day that he would never, ever be able to read all the books on his list and how this had depressed him greatly. Eventually, he was able to come to grips with the fact that it is impossible to read even a fraction of the books that are published in even a given year (thousands upon thousands), especially in the growing market of self-publication through e-readers. He also talked about the guilt many writers feel when they think a so-called canon masterpiece is crap. He had to convince himself it's okay to put down that masterpiece and pick up something more personal - and that whatever an individual chooses to read is just fine as long as she is reading. Tony Doerr(!) said something along those lines as well. This is a constant issue I struggle with, often not feeling these masterpieces are really all that masterful and are really more pieces of.... Anyway, the author of the article suggested making a list of the ten or so books we enjoyed reading the most every year and see if there's any theme. I liked this idea very much.
My sister is in the hospital with an infection in her spinal cord. She had a bed sore at her tailbone that became infected and spread up her entire back, and is now swollen to the size of a basketball. She will need surgery to try to remove the infection and plastic surgery to repair her back. Part of her tailbone is actually sticking through the bed sore. We don't know when the surgeries will happen or what exactly all of the surgeries will entail, so I'll keep updating.
I know all of this seems a bit random, but my mind is a bit addled right now and I was just writing as things came to me. I'm hoping I'll be able to drink some coffee tomorrow and not feel like I'm floating on a cloud. I have to pick up my new glasses tomorrow morning (with transitions lenses, thankfully) and then spend my evening at work, so I'm just hoping I won't be this loopy. I guess it will be a fun evening if I am.
P.S. I've edited this to add that it's Poets & Writers magazine. One of the articles was all about the ampersand, and how certain poetry editors think it's just so annoying and basically would pause before considering a poem just because the author used an ampersand. That's ludicrous. It's a symbol. A well known one. It means "and." Get over it.
August 13, 2011
My Little Secret
I applied for a job. It's the perfect job for me, as far as my education, experience, and abilities. I'll get a superb raise in pay. I'll get to move to a beautiful city.
Here are the disadvantages: It's a job that never stops, all day long. I don't mean I'll work for eighteen hours a day or anything, but it's a job that will be exhausting all day, every day. I have to work with multiple departments. What one interviewer told me is the essential quality for the job is NOT what the second interviewer told me. The first interviewer made me feel confident and powerful, like I would have a voice. The second interviewer made me feel confused and frustrated, like I didn't understand that I wouldn't have any say over any part of the job. That's NOT what the first interviewer indicated.
At first I thought the job was going to utilize my creativity. I thought I was going to get to come up with discussions, suggest new ideas on how to communicate with the employees, and edit existing communications to make them clearer. The first interviewer agreed - he said I would have a mix of creating and editing. Great! I love creating and editing! Interviewer #2, however, assured me that I wouldn't really be creating as much as compiling. I belive those may have been her words, verbatim. I would compile data and communicate it to the field in a concise, organized, timely manner. So...I'm more of a secretary? Not that there's anything wrong with secretaries, but it's not the job Inteviewer #1 laid out for me.
I'm getting a creeping feeling this job may be hectic but boring. It's also going to be fast-paced, stressful, and time-consuming. But who knows? Maybe I'm just getting jitters because Interviewer #2 was a tad intimidating when she was laying out the four thousand responsibilites of this job. Maybe I'll love the chaos. Maybe I'll love being called ten times an hour. Maybe I'll love being a human database.
Here's the kicker: At the same time this job was posted, another job with the same company was posted. I ignored the second job because the description of the first fit me like a glove. The second was in a field that I've come to discover I love very, very much, but I'm not as experienced nor as educated about its specialty. The second job had an earlier deadline and I felt more confident about the first job, so I disregarded Job B and focused on Job A.
I fully regret this. Job B sounds like SO MUCH FUN. And you know what? Rereading the job description I've realized that it also fits me like a glove. It's creative, its educational, its artistic, and there's travelling. Everyone at my current job tells me I'm a natural at the specialty for this job. It's like I didn't know I would love this specialty until I got my current job, where I use this specialty. It's the one thing - the one thing - I truly love about the job I have right now. And I could have been in a job where I do that day in and day out and get to travel to boot.
So today I called Interviewer #2, who I guess would either be interviewing for the fun job as well or who could pass me on to the person who would be interviewing for it, and I told her that while I was still interested in Job A, I had actually been asked by Interviewer #1 if I was interested in Job B and why I hadn't applied for it. I told her I had missed the deadline but if she was still accepting applications I would like to be considered for either job. I don't know what she'll make of this but most of my coworkers think she'll just think I'm taking the initiative to give myself every opportunity to advance in the company. They think she'll understand that I didn't want to look back and regret not having TRIED for both jobs. They also think she'll understand that in the event she doesn't choose me for Job A, I don't want to look like I just tried for one job and then gave up as though I wouldn't enjoy any other job but that first one.
The thing is, Interviewer #1 asked me if I could choose between the two jobs, which would I choose, and not wanting to sound wishy-washy I immediately said Job A. Now I'm worried that I'll be offered both jobs. Because now, I've changed my mind. And I really, really want to say Job B. To the point it's making me sick. But everyone at my current job - even people I never thought would go to bat for me - is doing backflips to get me Job A. Can I let them down? How will I look if I change my mind? Should I be truthful if I am offered a choice between the two jobs that when I sat down and thought about which one I would ENJOY more and that I would come to work excited to do everyday, I had decided that the answer is Job B?
I have a whole weekend to make a decision. Hell, I may not have to. They may have already passed on me for Job A and so will only offer Job B, if they offer either. Or they may have already decided to offer Job A and they've filled Job B, so it doesn't matter. Anyway, I'll know soon. The wait is KILLING me, though.
Here are the disadvantages: It's a job that never stops, all day long. I don't mean I'll work for eighteen hours a day or anything, but it's a job that will be exhausting all day, every day. I have to work with multiple departments. What one interviewer told me is the essential quality for the job is NOT what the second interviewer told me. The first interviewer made me feel confident and powerful, like I would have a voice. The second interviewer made me feel confused and frustrated, like I didn't understand that I wouldn't have any say over any part of the job. That's NOT what the first interviewer indicated.
At first I thought the job was going to utilize my creativity. I thought I was going to get to come up with discussions, suggest new ideas on how to communicate with the employees, and edit existing communications to make them clearer. The first interviewer agreed - he said I would have a mix of creating and editing. Great! I love creating and editing! Interviewer #2, however, assured me that I wouldn't really be creating as much as compiling. I belive those may have been her words, verbatim. I would compile data and communicate it to the field in a concise, organized, timely manner. So...I'm more of a secretary? Not that there's anything wrong with secretaries, but it's not the job Inteviewer #1 laid out for me.
I'm getting a creeping feeling this job may be hectic but boring. It's also going to be fast-paced, stressful, and time-consuming. But who knows? Maybe I'm just getting jitters because Interviewer #2 was a tad intimidating when she was laying out the four thousand responsibilites of this job. Maybe I'll love the chaos. Maybe I'll love being called ten times an hour. Maybe I'll love being a human database.
Here's the kicker: At the same time this job was posted, another job with the same company was posted. I ignored the second job because the description of the first fit me like a glove. The second was in a field that I've come to discover I love very, very much, but I'm not as experienced nor as educated about its specialty. The second job had an earlier deadline and I felt more confident about the first job, so I disregarded Job B and focused on Job A.
I fully regret this. Job B sounds like SO MUCH FUN. And you know what? Rereading the job description I've realized that it also fits me like a glove. It's creative, its educational, its artistic, and there's travelling. Everyone at my current job tells me I'm a natural at the specialty for this job. It's like I didn't know I would love this specialty until I got my current job, where I use this specialty. It's the one thing - the one thing - I truly love about the job I have right now. And I could have been in a job where I do that day in and day out and get to travel to boot.
So today I called Interviewer #2, who I guess would either be interviewing for the fun job as well or who could pass me on to the person who would be interviewing for it, and I told her that while I was still interested in Job A, I had actually been asked by Interviewer #1 if I was interested in Job B and why I hadn't applied for it. I told her I had missed the deadline but if she was still accepting applications I would like to be considered for either job. I don't know what she'll make of this but most of my coworkers think she'll just think I'm taking the initiative to give myself every opportunity to advance in the company. They think she'll understand that I didn't want to look back and regret not having TRIED for both jobs. They also think she'll understand that in the event she doesn't choose me for Job A, I don't want to look like I just tried for one job and then gave up as though I wouldn't enjoy any other job but that first one.
The thing is, Interviewer #1 asked me if I could choose between the two jobs, which would I choose, and not wanting to sound wishy-washy I immediately said Job A. Now I'm worried that I'll be offered both jobs. Because now, I've changed my mind. And I really, really want to say Job B. To the point it's making me sick. But everyone at my current job - even people I never thought would go to bat for me - is doing backflips to get me Job A. Can I let them down? How will I look if I change my mind? Should I be truthful if I am offered a choice between the two jobs that when I sat down and thought about which one I would ENJOY more and that I would come to work excited to do everyday, I had decided that the answer is Job B?
I have a whole weekend to make a decision. Hell, I may not have to. They may have already passed on me for Job A and so will only offer Job B, if they offer either. Or they may have already decided to offer Job A and they've filled Job B, so it doesn't matter. Anyway, I'll know soon. The wait is KILLING me, though.
August 3, 2011
Job Application
I just sat here for two hours finishing this application for an internal promotion at my job. Everyone I know is extremely excited for me because they know this position would be the perfect fit for me (within the company). Tomorrow, when I go to work, I'm going to be asked about the application over and over and I might just have to run into the bathroom to cry.
Here's why: I put together a resume, references, and a beautiful cover letter. No, really, it was a work of art. I made a profile at our website. I talked to my manager about how great this position would be. I was so excited and nervous when I pushed the submit button...
...and got a screen of questions, mainly ones I had already answered with a resume and cover letter. Whatever, that's typical. But then it asked me if my manager had any concerns they should know about. I decided to be honest and reveal any misgivings she had had. Then, funny enough, the misgivings became truth - the final question was about my "standing" as of submitting my application. Was I going to be at a "meets standards" at my annual review? Guess what? - I'm not. That was her biggest concern. Well, actually, it was my biggest concern and she just tried to reassure me that my references, experience, and education would surely offset this particular requirement.
Except, I mean, I understand why they have this requirement. If I can't even perform my duties at the "lower" level, how am I going to fair at the "higher" level? I understand. You may be asking why I've failed at my job this year when it seems like it would be a fairly simple job (retail). Well, I'll tell you.
About two months ago I was supposed to take this test for "lower" or "middle" managers where I have to talk to some "higher" level employees and confirm I have what it takes to move into "higher" management. I jumped through a lot of hoops and got my statistics where they needed to be and talked to the first person - who passed me on to the second person. But, wait, what's that? The first person wasn't aware that, yet AGAIN, the "higher" managers had decided to change the requirements for the test so it was EVEN MORE DIFFICULT for employees to reach those standards? So I was automatically failed. I could retest when I had met all of the requirements.
Some might say it should have been easy if I had stayed on the path that got me to the first set of requirements. But, ya see, I didn't give a fuck at that point. I let myself go. I stopped trying. That led to my statistics plummetting. I mean tanking. It was kind of glorious.
Then, a fellow employee went to take this test. She was also struggling to meet the requirements, but finally got there and made it to the point where she was passed by the first person and passed by the second person...and then she was told - surprise! - that now there was a third person. Now, she has to worry about her statistics dropping and worry about the questions (it's up to the questioner) she's going to be asked. The first thing she said to me after being told of the new...new requirement was that she thought the company was trying to force people to stop caring. And that's pretty much what most of us have decided...to stop caring at all.
You see, I wouldn't be "below standards" if they hadn't changed the requirements for our annual reviews...this year. I would be fine. It would still be up to my manager whether I got a raise and what my "standing" was for the year. But the company decided to make it all about the numbers. They've begun to change everything and it's begun to make a lot of people upset. I don't know what they're going to do when they lose a lot of good employees for arbitrary reasons.
Here's why: I put together a resume, references, and a beautiful cover letter. No, really, it was a work of art. I made a profile at our website. I talked to my manager about how great this position would be. I was so excited and nervous when I pushed the submit button...
...and got a screen of questions, mainly ones I had already answered with a resume and cover letter. Whatever, that's typical. But then it asked me if my manager had any concerns they should know about. I decided to be honest and reveal any misgivings she had had. Then, funny enough, the misgivings became truth - the final question was about my "standing" as of submitting my application. Was I going to be at a "meets standards" at my annual review? Guess what? - I'm not. That was her biggest concern. Well, actually, it was my biggest concern and she just tried to reassure me that my references, experience, and education would surely offset this particular requirement.
Except, I mean, I understand why they have this requirement. If I can't even perform my duties at the "lower" level, how am I going to fair at the "higher" level? I understand. You may be asking why I've failed at my job this year when it seems like it would be a fairly simple job (retail). Well, I'll tell you.
About two months ago I was supposed to take this test for "lower" or "middle" managers where I have to talk to some "higher" level employees and confirm I have what it takes to move into "higher" management. I jumped through a lot of hoops and got my statistics where they needed to be and talked to the first person - who passed me on to the second person. But, wait, what's that? The first person wasn't aware that, yet AGAIN, the "higher" managers had decided to change the requirements for the test so it was EVEN MORE DIFFICULT for employees to reach those standards? So I was automatically failed. I could retest when I had met all of the requirements.
Some might say it should have been easy if I had stayed on the path that got me to the first set of requirements. But, ya see, I didn't give a fuck at that point. I let myself go. I stopped trying. That led to my statistics plummetting. I mean tanking. It was kind of glorious.
Then, a fellow employee went to take this test. She was also struggling to meet the requirements, but finally got there and made it to the point where she was passed by the first person and passed by the second person...and then she was told - surprise! - that now there was a third person. Now, she has to worry about her statistics dropping and worry about the questions (it's up to the questioner) she's going to be asked. The first thing she said to me after being told of the new...new requirement was that she thought the company was trying to force people to stop caring. And that's pretty much what most of us have decided...to stop caring at all.
You see, I wouldn't be "below standards" if they hadn't changed the requirements for our annual reviews...this year. I would be fine. It would still be up to my manager whether I got a raise and what my "standing" was for the year. But the company decided to make it all about the numbers. They've begun to change everything and it's begun to make a lot of people upset. I don't know what they're going to do when they lose a lot of good employees for arbitrary reasons.
April 24, 2011
Bully Tactics
Sorry I haven't posted in a long time.
Hee.
Anyway, I had a really bad day yesterday. A customer came into the store I work at to return some items that were damaged. The problem was she had clearly had the items for a long time and had clearly used them frequently. When I tried to explain why I was questioning how the items had become defective she blew up. She started yelling. She started screaming that she only had this problem when she tries to return items with me (establishing that she has a habit of returning questionable items). I tried to explain we have to be able to protect our company from people just returning items for any reason and we have to establish policies and she started cussing and making smartass remarks. Then she started threatening to call our corporate office to report me and to tell them she would just have to shop in another store from now on. That's when another manager stepped in, agreed with her that her damages might be a manufacturer's defect, and agreed to return the items. (One item wasn't as questionable as the other.)
While the other manager was looking for the items in the store, the angry customer began going up to other customers to tell them what a horrible person I am. You know what? I shouldn't have to take that because it's bullying. It was bullying the moment she raised her voice and especially when she tried to threaten my job by calling our corporate office. She knew I couldn't be smartass back to her; she knew I couldn't raise my voice back to her; she knew I couldn't go up to other customers and tell them what a horrible person she is. (I know I don't have to anyway - one of those customers came up to me and told me she thought the woman's behavior was totally inappropriate.)
But the point is now I have to worry about what's going to happen when she calls corporate. Because even though she got what she wanted, she's still going to call them and you know it. Are they going to tell me that despite what they say about returning used items I should have just understood that's all smoke and mirrors? I should never question a customer's return? We've turned down lots of returns in my years there and here's the great message I've learned: If you're nice and follow the rules you'll get screwed and if you're mean and throw a tantrum you'll get your way. Isn't that lovely? The other manager tried to remind me that from a business standpoint we were losing a few dollars but keeping her happy would get us a lot of money in return. That's all well and fine from a business standpoint, but what about from a human standpoint?
We've had plenty of customers leave with what we thought was an understanding of why we didn't let them return their items only to learn they called corporate after they left. So how does corporate expect us to make a decision, ever?
The truth is, I don't give a fuck about returning a damaged item. If the company told me tomorrow to never question another return? Cool beans because I could care less. But when they tell me out of one side of their mouths they have a "policy" then blow smoke about "the customer is always right" out of the other side - that's bullying too.
This is the very first time I've ever been complained about in 5 1/2 years of employment with this company. I have to call them and give them my side of the story on Tuesday (when I get back to work) and see how I should handle this customer in the future. They're going to tell me I was wrong - we're always wrong - or they're going to tell me I was right but then tell the customer I was wrong - which is something several employees say has happened. Usually they'll tell you that if that customer returns another questionable item, you should tell her you'll return it this time but it will be the last time she can return any item unless it is in original condition regardless of reason. But then the customer will try to return another used item and you'll stick to the "policy" you gave her before, but she'll call corporate who will call you and tell you to go ahead and return it for her and give her a coupon for her troubles. (This actually happened to my store manager.)
It's a gigantic bullying tactic and I'm not sure how tolerant of this outcome I'll be when I'm in the middle of it. Stay tuned.
Hee.
Anyway, I had a really bad day yesterday. A customer came into the store I work at to return some items that were damaged. The problem was she had clearly had the items for a long time and had clearly used them frequently. When I tried to explain why I was questioning how the items had become defective she blew up. She started yelling. She started screaming that she only had this problem when she tries to return items with me (establishing that she has a habit of returning questionable items). I tried to explain we have to be able to protect our company from people just returning items for any reason and we have to establish policies and she started cussing and making smartass remarks. Then she started threatening to call our corporate office to report me and to tell them she would just have to shop in another store from now on. That's when another manager stepped in, agreed with her that her damages might be a manufacturer's defect, and agreed to return the items. (One item wasn't as questionable as the other.)
While the other manager was looking for the items in the store, the angry customer began going up to other customers to tell them what a horrible person I am. You know what? I shouldn't have to take that because it's bullying. It was bullying the moment she raised her voice and especially when she tried to threaten my job by calling our corporate office. She knew I couldn't be smartass back to her; she knew I couldn't raise my voice back to her; she knew I couldn't go up to other customers and tell them what a horrible person she is. (I know I don't have to anyway - one of those customers came up to me and told me she thought the woman's behavior was totally inappropriate.)
But the point is now I have to worry about what's going to happen when she calls corporate. Because even though she got what she wanted, she's still going to call them and you know it. Are they going to tell me that despite what they say about returning used items I should have just understood that's all smoke and mirrors? I should never question a customer's return? We've turned down lots of returns in my years there and here's the great message I've learned: If you're nice and follow the rules you'll get screwed and if you're mean and throw a tantrum you'll get your way. Isn't that lovely? The other manager tried to remind me that from a business standpoint we were losing a few dollars but keeping her happy would get us a lot of money in return. That's all well and fine from a business standpoint, but what about from a human standpoint?
We've had plenty of customers leave with what we thought was an understanding of why we didn't let them return their items only to learn they called corporate after they left. So how does corporate expect us to make a decision, ever?
The truth is, I don't give a fuck about returning a damaged item. If the company told me tomorrow to never question another return? Cool beans because I could care less. But when they tell me out of one side of their mouths they have a "policy" then blow smoke about "the customer is always right" out of the other side - that's bullying too.
This is the very first time I've ever been complained about in 5 1/2 years of employment with this company. I have to call them and give them my side of the story on Tuesday (when I get back to work) and see how I should handle this customer in the future. They're going to tell me I was wrong - we're always wrong - or they're going to tell me I was right but then tell the customer I was wrong - which is something several employees say has happened. Usually they'll tell you that if that customer returns another questionable item, you should tell her you'll return it this time but it will be the last time she can return any item unless it is in original condition regardless of reason. But then the customer will try to return another used item and you'll stick to the "policy" you gave her before, but she'll call corporate who will call you and tell you to go ahead and return it for her and give her a coupon for her troubles. (This actually happened to my store manager.)
It's a gigantic bullying tactic and I'm not sure how tolerant of this outcome I'll be when I'm in the middle of it. Stay tuned.
November 15, 2010
Indistinguishable Work Rant #4000
I called in today to find out my hours for Wednesday. I didn't have them written down. Of course the conversation turned to scheduling the Thanksgiving holiday week and that's when everything blew up and the conversation ended with a looonnngggg awkward silence.
I work at a retail job. You know, if your career goal is to manage your own store or work you way up through a company to CEO or something, that's great. What bothers me is when managers try to force everyone on staff to think of their jobs as the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THEIR LIVES.
I work 3-5 days a week. This job has a good deal of importance to me right now because it's my only job. We have some people, though, who are in high school or who are just using this job as a supplemental income for their full-time job. They shouldn't have to worry about this job being intrusive on their everyday lives. It shouldn't be a priority to them.
But our company tries to force them to feel like it's a priority. One of the "rules" we have is that you can't expect a set schedule, and you also can't expect weekends off. But you know, if you have a forty-hour job you've worked at for ten years and you're used to having weekends off, or you're used to a set schedule, it might be hard going to get used to being told "no" when you ask for a lot of days off. But on the other hand, you were hired to only work 1-2 days a week anyway, so as long as you're doing that, and as long as there are others who are willing to work the days you're not willing to work, there should be no problem.
And this is what I argued today, because we have an employee who works a full-time job where she has had weekends off for the past ten years or so and she is used to certain traditional vacations and such. She doesn't always request weekends off, but at this time of the year, with extended holidays and traditions, she has requested a good number of days off (still giving us leeway to schedule her 1-2 shifts each week, though). But she isn't working any weekend day in November. She has told us she's almost completely open in December to make up for this. What's the problem, right?
It's a huuugggeee problem to the company. Because we have to look at this as a business, you know. And if our needs say you can't go on your traditional Thanksgiving trip for no other reason than we think you should be forced to work at least one weekend in November, then you'll just have to suffer. We never promised you'd get days off if you request them.
My manager and I got into a huge (but calm) argument where she tried to remind me that she can't be worried about the other coworker's perspective, but has to think about our needs. But you know what? We don't need her to work any of those weekends. We have plenty of people who are available and WILLING to work those weekends. This is nothing more than the company's power play, underscored by my manager's words of "I can't give [the coworker] the upper hand." And I just interrupted her after a while and said, simply, "I don't agree." And I repeated it after she tried to convince me a few more times and then there was awkward silence which she ended by saying, "So you just needed your schedule," and my reply of "Yep."
I'm just so tired of hearing the words "This is retail." So the fuck what? And furthermore, exactly! I really, really don't have what it takes to care about a business like this.
I work at a retail job. You know, if your career goal is to manage your own store or work you way up through a company to CEO or something, that's great. What bothers me is when managers try to force everyone on staff to think of their jobs as the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THEIR LIVES.
I work 3-5 days a week. This job has a good deal of importance to me right now because it's my only job. We have some people, though, who are in high school or who are just using this job as a supplemental income for their full-time job. They shouldn't have to worry about this job being intrusive on their everyday lives. It shouldn't be a priority to them.
But our company tries to force them to feel like it's a priority. One of the "rules" we have is that you can't expect a set schedule, and you also can't expect weekends off. But you know, if you have a forty-hour job you've worked at for ten years and you're used to having weekends off, or you're used to a set schedule, it might be hard going to get used to being told "no" when you ask for a lot of days off. But on the other hand, you were hired to only work 1-2 days a week anyway, so as long as you're doing that, and as long as there are others who are willing to work the days you're not willing to work, there should be no problem.
And this is what I argued today, because we have an employee who works a full-time job where she has had weekends off for the past ten years or so and she is used to certain traditional vacations and such. She doesn't always request weekends off, but at this time of the year, with extended holidays and traditions, she has requested a good number of days off (still giving us leeway to schedule her 1-2 shifts each week, though). But she isn't working any weekend day in November. She has told us she's almost completely open in December to make up for this. What's the problem, right?
It's a huuugggeee problem to the company. Because we have to look at this as a business, you know. And if our needs say you can't go on your traditional Thanksgiving trip for no other reason than we think you should be forced to work at least one weekend in November, then you'll just have to suffer. We never promised you'd get days off if you request them.
My manager and I got into a huge (but calm) argument where she tried to remind me that she can't be worried about the other coworker's perspective, but has to think about our needs. But you know what? We don't need her to work any of those weekends. We have plenty of people who are available and WILLING to work those weekends. This is nothing more than the company's power play, underscored by my manager's words of "I can't give [the coworker] the upper hand." And I just interrupted her after a while and said, simply, "I don't agree." And I repeated it after she tried to convince me a few more times and then there was awkward silence which she ended by saying, "So you just needed your schedule," and my reply of "Yep."
I'm just so tired of hearing the words "This is retail." So the fuck what? And furthermore, exactly! I really, really don't have what it takes to care about a business like this.
October 9, 2010
Ungrateful
I'm sorry I'm always ranting.
At work (crappy retail work) today, a colleague who also happens to be one of my good friends really, really upset me to the point of wanting to quit then and there. The only thing that stopped me was knowing that at the end of this month, I will receive $100 for being with the company for five years. I can hold out for a few more weeks. It gives me time to job hunt.
Look, I love this woman dearly. She cannot, however, understand for one second when other people are sacrificing for her. Just so you understand, our raises, reviews, and promotions depend on our statistics, such as how many items we sell in each transaction or how many credit card applications we can get. I try not to stress over them too much, but I kinda have to in an economy where a job is hard to come by.
On Friday, we had to cancel a girl's shift and I was forced to work open to close (9:30-9:30). That, because I had two half-hour breaks, is eleven hours clocked in, people. Well, my friend was working that day, too, on an eight-hour shift. We looked at our stats. She needed sales and many-item sales and I, well, didn't. I took a lot of one-item sales to help her. Right before my second break I told her to take over with a sale that ended up being more than $500. Overall, at the end of the night, she had in more sales volume than I did and higher stats all-around. We agreed to watch out for each other the next day, too.
She did that for the most part. When I came in today, she had been rotating sales between herself and me, and she had tried to take most of the smaller sales on herself and she gave me a credit card application to help me out. Great, I thanked her, told her she did a good thing. At the time I walked in, she was ringing a huge sale that she hadn't realized was going to be as big as it was (two girls put their sales together) and she had begun ringing under me. Well, she began to regret that. I pulled out our sales book and tried to figure out a way to change the sales associate once the sale had started but there wasn't a way. She would have either had to cancel it and start all over or wait until they paid, void the sale, and re-ring the entire thing. It was a $600 sale. She didn't want to bother re-ringing anything so she just put it under me.
Well, that makes up for Friday's $500 sale, I'm thinking.
She wasn't thinking that. In the backroom, she says to me, "Well, you owe me."
I say, "Except that I helped you out yesterday and let you have that $500 sale."
"You didn't give me that sale," she says, "I worked for it. You didn't work for this sale."
I tried to explain to her that I could have come back from my second break and said, "Thanks for taking care of my customers while I was gone, I'll take back over now." She bursts out laughing, chokes a little on the food in her mouth, and says, "If that's the way YOU want to look at it, honey."
How ungrateful can you be? I didn't have to go on break at that time, we don't have set times. I could have totally hogged that sale for myself. BUT I DIDN'T. I also tried to explain to her that I took a lot of one-item sales on myself Friday and she just rolled her eyes and said she had done that Saturday. I'm thinking that makes us even, right? I don't understand why she needs everyone to owe her but she can't see when she owes other people and is paying her debt. Anything she sacrificed Saturday was paying a debt to me for Friday. I was so stressed out about it I later made my sister fill out a credit card application so I could put it under my friend so I could feel like I didn't owe her anything at all. For the rest of Saturday night, I took all of the one-item sales and tried to give her as many big sales as I could.
The point I keep thinking about is how she seemed to be blaming me for the choices she made on Saturday of which sales to give to me and which to put under herself. A few weeks ago she told me she doesn't know how to figure out which people are in trouble and who needs the most help, so she just does what she wants. Well, don't blame others when that backfires. You also don't do good deeds just to see what you'll get in return or so you can hold it over the other person's head.
At work (crappy retail work) today, a colleague who also happens to be one of my good friends really, really upset me to the point of wanting to quit then and there. The only thing that stopped me was knowing that at the end of this month, I will receive $100 for being with the company for five years. I can hold out for a few more weeks. It gives me time to job hunt.
Look, I love this woman dearly. She cannot, however, understand for one second when other people are sacrificing for her. Just so you understand, our raises, reviews, and promotions depend on our statistics, such as how many items we sell in each transaction or how many credit card applications we can get. I try not to stress over them too much, but I kinda have to in an economy where a job is hard to come by.
On Friday, we had to cancel a girl's shift and I was forced to work open to close (9:30-9:30). That, because I had two half-hour breaks, is eleven hours clocked in, people. Well, my friend was working that day, too, on an eight-hour shift. We looked at our stats. She needed sales and many-item sales and I, well, didn't. I took a lot of one-item sales to help her. Right before my second break I told her to take over with a sale that ended up being more than $500. Overall, at the end of the night, she had in more sales volume than I did and higher stats all-around. We agreed to watch out for each other the next day, too.
She did that for the most part. When I came in today, she had been rotating sales between herself and me, and she had tried to take most of the smaller sales on herself and she gave me a credit card application to help me out. Great, I thanked her, told her she did a good thing. At the time I walked in, she was ringing a huge sale that she hadn't realized was going to be as big as it was (two girls put their sales together) and she had begun ringing under me. Well, she began to regret that. I pulled out our sales book and tried to figure out a way to change the sales associate once the sale had started but there wasn't a way. She would have either had to cancel it and start all over or wait until they paid, void the sale, and re-ring the entire thing. It was a $600 sale. She didn't want to bother re-ringing anything so she just put it under me.
Well, that makes up for Friday's $500 sale, I'm thinking.
She wasn't thinking that. In the backroom, she says to me, "Well, you owe me."
I say, "Except that I helped you out yesterday and let you have that $500 sale."
"You didn't give me that sale," she says, "I worked for it. You didn't work for this sale."
I tried to explain to her that I could have come back from my second break and said, "Thanks for taking care of my customers while I was gone, I'll take back over now." She bursts out laughing, chokes a little on the food in her mouth, and says, "If that's the way YOU want to look at it, honey."
How ungrateful can you be? I didn't have to go on break at that time, we don't have set times. I could have totally hogged that sale for myself. BUT I DIDN'T. I also tried to explain to her that I took a lot of one-item sales on myself Friday and she just rolled her eyes and said she had done that Saturday. I'm thinking that makes us even, right? I don't understand why she needs everyone to owe her but she can't see when she owes other people and is paying her debt. Anything she sacrificed Saturday was paying a debt to me for Friday. I was so stressed out about it I later made my sister fill out a credit card application so I could put it under my friend so I could feel like I didn't owe her anything at all. For the rest of Saturday night, I took all of the one-item sales and tried to give her as many big sales as I could.
The point I keep thinking about is how she seemed to be blaming me for the choices she made on Saturday of which sales to give to me and which to put under herself. A few weeks ago she told me she doesn't know how to figure out which people are in trouble and who needs the most help, so she just does what she wants. Well, don't blame others when that backfires. You also don't do good deeds just to see what you'll get in return or so you can hold it over the other person's head.
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